Infant CPR vs. Cramped Fingers: Who Would Win?

/ damnhandy

With a new baby arrival imminent, the Mrs. and I thought it would be wise to attend an Infant CPR class. We attended the course this weekend and we were very pleased with the quality of the instruction. What stunned us the most however, was the attitude of some of the other students in the course. For example, one woman managed to continue her needle-point “art” throughout the 2.5 hour course. I guess she was hoping her partner would be there for any emergency.

The real stunner came when the instructor was showing us how to perform chest compressions. With an infant, you need to perform the compressions with two fingers and do 30 compressions at a time. But to my amazement, one fella actually asked:

“What if your fingers get cramped”

I had everything I could do to bit my tounge and not say somethink like: “it’s okay, you can just let your child die! People would understand”. I mean, your freakin’ child is either dying or already dead and you’re trying to revive them, and this guys is worried about his fingers getting crampped!??? I may be insane, but I think “finger cramps” might be the last thing on my mind in such a situation. And even if finger cramps do start to get the best of me, I do have two freakin’ hands! If minor hand discomfort coudl get in the way of saving your childs life, why are going to be a parent in the first place? It never ceases to amaze me how self-centered some new, and current, parents can be.

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8 thoughts on “Infant CPR vs. Cramped Fingers: Who Would Win?”

  1. With the way that guy’s wife was slobbering all over her plastic baby’s mouth, that kid doesn’t have a chance. Drowning or finger cramps, take your pick! I’m so glad I let the air out of their tires.

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  2. With the way that guy’s wife was slobbering all over her plastic baby’s mouth, that kid doesn’t have a chance. Drowning or finger cramps, take your pick! I’m so glad I let the air out of their tires.

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  3. There is a flip side too. We went through the same training and had some psycho neurotic future parents in the room. The instructor told us the fire department can take up to 20 minutes to respond in our area. A choking child can be dead in less than 5. One parent asked if she should move closer to the fire department.

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  4. There is a flip side too. We went through the same training and had some psycho neurotic future parents in the room. The instructor told us the fire department can take up to 20 minutes to respond in our area. A choking child can be dead in less than 5. One parent asked if she should move closer to the fire department.

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  5. What if I have to take a leak? What if it’s a Sox/Yankees game, it’s the bottom of the 9th inning with bases loaded and two outs, and tied 5-5? What if they are giving out free ice cream at the Walmart?

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  6. What if I have to take a leak? What if it’s a Sox/Yankees game, it’s the bottom of the 9th inning with bases loaded and two outs, and tied 5-5? What if they are giving out free ice cream at the Walmart?

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  7. It’s so scary that people like this are actually having kids!!! They will learn real fast that self-centered is not the trait of a loving parent, it is called being selfless!! Glad to see you and your wife actually get that! Take care.

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  8. It’s so scary that people like this are actually having kids!!! They will learn real fast that self-centered is not the trait of a loving parent, it is called being selfless!! Glad to see you and your wife actually get that! Take care.

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